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Bottoming vs. Topping for me (just some thoughts)

I often get asked, “why don’t you do bottoming sessions anymore?” or “Do you not like bottoming anymore?” Well here is my explanation…….

Yes I like bottoming, actually I LOVE bottoming. I love it so much that it was getting to be too much. Let me put it in a metaphor that I think works best. Imagine that chocolate is your favorite food, you love it, but then you eat it everyday and you just get used to it and it isn’t special anymore. Or imagine if it was Christmas everyday, that would get a bit old after awhile and it wouldn’t mean as much or be as special. Well that is what was happening for me. Too much of a good thing can make it not mean as much. So, since I love getting spanked and it does so much for me, doing it all the time and with everyone was taking the spark and the excitement away. It was beginning to feel more and more like work, so that when the opportunity would arise to do it for fun, I didn’t want to because it felt like work. I hated this feeling. I hated the feeling that something I once loved, and got butterflies in my stomach about, something I fantasized about and anticipated was there all the time whether I was in the mood or not. Something I wanted to experience with those I trusted and felt close to was something I was experiencing with just anyone.

Well, I still needed to make a living (this is my job) and didn’t want to continue to head in this pathway of being burnt out….so the logical solution was to begin to top. I started slowly and learned under my Mommy (Dana Specht) and Daddy (Paul “Tubaman” Rogers). I learned about different implements, techniques, and demeanor. I also developed a style of my own and a deep understanding for what a bottom needs knowing that I came from that place. Having a psychology degree and an understanding of the psychology behind craving spanking I felt I could be an effective top. I now have a large number of regular clients and I enjoy helping them very much through spanking. I went to school to be a helper, to help people and even though I am not a counselor or psychologist, I am still helping people and that feels good. So when people ask me, “well since you started as a bottom and are now topping, what do you get out of it?” Well I get the satisfaction of giving back, of helping those who need what I need/needed in my personal life, of listening to each of my clients needs and catering to them. Yes this is my profession, but I also enjoy it.

So my separation of topping and bottoming is now as such. I bottom in my personal life, to those I am close to and have some sort of relationship with, whether it be a dominant, mommy, daddy, play partner or protector. Someone I connect with as a friend on a deeper level than just an acquaintance. I top professionally. I top for sessions and in videos. I will however bottom for websites whom I have worked with before and have a repore with. I will bottom in videos on my websites with those mentioned above (the ones I have a relationship with) because it doesn’t feel like work.

So, in conclusion. I LOVE bottoming. I LOVE it more now than I did a year ago or two years ago. I love it like I did when I first realized I had a spanking fetish. I love it like I did before I ever had my first spanking, when I would lay in bed and wonder what it would be like. I love it like I did when I would sit in school and imagine my teacher taking me over her knee and giving me a spanking. Spanking has gotten its spark back. I feel rejuvinated and spanking has gained an important spot in my personal life once again.

Shadowlane Spanking Party

Shadowlane….wow, I don’t even know where to begin. Do I begin with the amazing shoots I did, the super amazing play times I had, the time in Vegas enjoying the city, or quality time with good friends who were missed? Do I start with the super cool roommates I had, the new friends I met, or doors now opened for future endeavors. Where do I begin…???

I guess I will just start at the top and take you through what was a week that will remain with me for a long time.

From what was an awesome week, didn’t really get off to a great start with a flight delay that left me in Maryland for a whole day at my connection. I was supposed to arrive in Vegas around 2pm on Tuesday so I could spend the day and night with Kat St. James, whom I hadn’t seen in what felt like forever.

Well, I didn’t get to her place until almost 8pm. It was like no time had passed. She was just as gorgeous as I remembered, just as sweet and her cute little smile gets me every time. I couldn’t wait to get into the bathroom and brush my teeth so I could take this hot woman into my arms and kiss her. We had a good evening hanging out, watching movies, catching up and her bf made us an awesome taco salad. Now a recipe I make all the time. We didn’t really have much alone time, so we planned that for over the weekend at the hotel.

Wednesday we spent time hitting up some cool thrift stores, getting Thai food for lunch and then sushi for dinner before I had to head to the hotel and check in. I had a session that evening and needed time to shower and prep.

Thursday I was able to sleep in until about 11am as I had another session. I was trying to get my work done early in the trip so I could party and just enjoy myself, which I tend not to do at these parties. I usually work myself crazy with sessions and shoots and then feel like, “where did the weekend go?” Well, not this time. I deserved fun too. I am not a drinker by far, but I did enjoy a few glasses of wine (very rare for me) but it felt good to just let go and party with my friends and just relax.

After my morning session, I headed to the airport to pick up Johnny (FLAPaddler) and Robert (CTPhotographer). We stopped on the way back to grab some groceries. When we got back I ran into my sister, Princess Kelley, we hugged and did some catching up before Johnny and I headed out to the Bellagio to see Cirque Du Soleil “O”. I thing I can tell why it is called “O,” I think my mouth was in a permanent state of “Oh my god, this is incredible!!!” from the moment the curtain opened. All I have to say is WOW; it was one of the best performances I have ever seen. Here me and Johnny are outside of the Bellagio after the show and then me with the tickets inside.

Thursday night when we got back, it was time for suite parties. I pretty much stayed in the suite parties hosted by Joe and Ten, and Korey and James (of Stormy Night Publications). Here is Korey’s awesome blog. Midnight Flogging was on the schedule for the evening. Although I wasn’t really feeling it, I still went, participated for a bit, and stayed up in the suite until about 4am. Here I am in the flogging line up (photo by CTPhotographer)

I talked with friends…

…got flogged, played with Johnny, and just had fun. Me and Johnny after the flogging event (photo by CTPhotographer)

Friday I had a couple of sessions in the afternoon and then had to get ready and prep for the vendor’s fair. I was going all out with a vintage look and needed time to curl my hair.

The vendor’s fair was fun. My table was hopping almost the whole time. I sold a lot of DVDs and implements. I was lucky I had Benman, Vboy,  and Robert there to help with sales and organization.

The buffet was yummy and I had fun getting my photo taken with my friends as well (by CTPhotographer). From left to right, Me and Erica Scott, Me with Johnny and Christina Carter.

From left to right, me and Princess Kelley, then me and Veronica Ricci

Me and Robert, Me, Johnny, and Speer

Me and Christy Cutie, then me and Christina Carter

Getting spanked by Speer

After the vendor’s fair it was time for suite parties. I headed to Joe and Ten’s and pretty much stayed there until about 2am. I had fun spanking Christina Carter who had arrived earlier that day. We had met before at Fetishcon 2012, but really didn’t talk at all, just said hi. It was a pleasure getting to know her and well, spank her. She is a sweetie.

Kat came around 11pm and we got to spend private time together as well (yippee!).

Saturday morning it was rise and shine and get ready time for my Shadowlane Shoot. I shot a totally amazing video with Christy Cutie, Joelle Barros, and Keith Jones, yes…THE Keith Jones! I had met him in the past, but hadn’t had the pleasure of being spanked by him. Also that fact that I bottom very rarely these days I was a little scared, as my tolerance is not what it used to be. He was an amazing spanker and had me mesmerized in the first swat to my bare bottom. After the video was over, we exchanged phone numbers and made plans to play later that evening.

After shooting for Shadowlane, I had a young lady coming to see me for a session. We had communicated over email and chatted briefly on the phone. She was very sweet and in dire need of punishment. I gave her one of her first real adult spankings. You can read about her experience HERE.

Then it was off to a suite party to make an appearance before heading out to prep for the Saturday night dinner/dance.

I went all out Saturday night for the Casino Royal Theme. I had an amazing time at the dinner; dancing, talking with friends, and not to mention the food was very yummy (thanks Tony and Eve for the great selection of food).

CTPhotographer took some amazing shots of me and my friends…

Top row right to left (me and Princess Kelley, Me and Erica Scott) Second Row (Lily Star, Robert, and me, Me and Mila Kohl) Third Row ( Me and Christina Carter) Fourth Row (me and Johnny, me and Robert), Last Row (me and Benman and me, Stevie, Kat, and DJBob)

 

Here in the group shot, Christina Carter, Johnny, me, Speer, and Stevie Rose.

It was also amazing to see and talk to one of my first mentors in the spanking scene, Mistress Stephanie Locke. Unfortunately we didn’t get to play, but seeing her was great.

Saturday night I left the dinner/dance with Keith Jones. We went to his room and had some private play time. I think he spanked me almost an hour of which put me into an incredible blissful state of subspace. Let’s just say, I was flying high on a spanking high. I was with him until about midnight because after we played we just layed on the bed and talked. After that he walked me back to my room so I could drop off some stuff and then we went to Joe and Ten’s suite. Up at the suite party I played with Johnny. Kat helped him with me until she headed to bed. I stayed up until about 4am again.

Sunday morning I did a photo shoot with one of my favorite photographers, Clicko. He took some pretty amazing shots of me that I have slowly been putting up on Fetlife.

After my shoot with Clicko, I shot for TripleAAA Spanking. I had shot for them 2.5 years ago when I was in England. We had touched base the night before at the dinner and booked the shoot. John Osborne and I shot some super amazing, sexy and HOT videos for his website. I had a lot of fun with the shoot and now I am planning another trip to the UK. I am looking at May 2014.

After my shoot for TripleAAA, I went to dinner with Johnny, Robert, Kat, Stevie, Speer, and Vboy. Vboy took the photo.

Sunday when we got back from dinner it was time for the PJ party. We all went and put our PJs on and went to the party. I spent some time spanking some naughty boys. That was a lot of fun. I gave vboy his long awaited right to the bare hard spanking. After doing a lot of topping I NEEDED a spanking and I wanted John Osborne from TripleAAA spanking to deliver. I had asked him to come to the PJ party with a plan in mind…little did he know I was going to ask him to play.

We went to the couch, I laid over his lap, and he gave me a wonderful bare bottom warm up spanking and gradually got a bit harder, just the way I like it. His hand felt amazing with each swat coming down on my blush pink behind, not to mention some wetness down below that was forming. I think he must have spanked me for an hour. After my spanking, we snuggled up and chatted while I came down from the great subspace I was in.

After sitting with him for awhile I wanted to get some play time with Oak as he was leaving soon for the airport. He came all the way from Denmark to these parties. He is an amazing spanker and flogger.

I went to bed very late once again. Monday we had a relaxing day. We went to the pool in the afternoon and then went out for Mexican food for lunch.

Here are some photos from the pool taken by CTPhotographer (this was totally not planned so I am not wearing makeup)

Monday night I had a session with Ben and then we went to dinner. We had some nice quality time together.

Later that night I wasn’t feeling too well and knew that we had to get up early the next morning, so I headed to bed early. I had trouble sleeping, so our initial plan to see sunrise over Red Rock Canyon was a no go, but Robert and I still got there and I got some great shots.

After spending some time shooting photos there, we headed back to the hotel to meet up with Kat and then went to the Famous Gold and Silver Pawn shop from the show, “Pawn Stars.” I love this show, so it was so cool to go to the shop.

After that we stopped at a vintage toy store where I bought a 1980s Cabbage Patch doll (yes I love them) and then we went to the official Mob Museum. There was a replica electric chair there and it was super cool to see and sit in. Yes I like restraints…hehe

Wednesday morning Robert and I headed home. Goodbye Vegas until next time.

FetishCon 2013

FetishCon was Incredible. I had one of the best times I have ever had. Scarlet and I arrived in Tampa Wednesday afternoon before the con with enough time to check in, grab a bite to eat and get ready for our shoot. We had a shoot that night with www.lostbets.com. It was a fun shoot like nothing I have done before. Basically you are with a few other girls and you play games that require stripping and the person who ends up naked has to do something embarrassing. I won both games….teehee. I made it a rather early night Wednesday since I had a lot of shoots coming up the next day and it was only the first night.

Johnny and Stevie Arrived Wednesday night.  I was down in the lobby and we ran into Amelia Jane Rutherford..I was super excited to see her. We have become good friends.

Thursday morning,  I slept in and then I had a shoot at 1pm with DFP Productions. It was a cool shoot as well. It was all about situations that you have to strip and are caught and embarrassed. After that shoot I worked for the Clare Fonda Websites. It was great to see Veronica and The CameraMan. I shot for Spanked Call Girls as well as Veronica’s new site, Spanking Veronica Works.

After my shoots Johnny, Stevie, Speer (a new friend) and I went to the grocery store and a cool costume shop. Then back to the hotel to prep for the famous Fetishcon Meet and Greet I was doing something different in attempt to book some more work…. Here is how I attended, although it was enjoyed by many, it didn’t help me in the getting more work part.

At the Meet and Greet Johnny took a ton of amazing photos for me. First photo is me and ScarletJ, second is me and Candle Boxxx, third, me and Isobel Wren, and fourth is me and Amelia Jane Rutherford.

On Friday I did a POV Femdom shoot, checked out the vendor’s fair and then shot for HypnoPimp. After I got back to the hotel, I hired Amelia Jane Rutherford for Sarah Gregory Spanking. Johnny and I spanked her together in this amazing and hot spanking film called, Naughty Hotel Maid. 

We checked out the hotel dungeon and Johnny and I had a super amazing time playing.

Saturday I shot for rootdawg and did some fun foot fetish videos and photos. In the afternoon I participated in the Super Heroine Showdown. I played the Cat Woman!

Above I am spanking the lovely spanking model, Amelia Jane Rutherford, as cat woman (very fun!!!)

Later that day I did a shoot for CaptGene whom I had worked for before. This shoot was with Stevie Rose. After that we hung out at the hotel, got some food, and hit up the pool party.

Sunday was my day to do the last of my shopping and I bought some amazing Girdles from Girdle Bound and some gorgeous Corsets from Eurotique. Here is one of the cute corsets I bought from them. Look for more photos showing up of the others I bought. I think i got 7 in all.

Here I am in one of my new Girdles after shopping!

Sunday afternoon into the evening was my time for shoots for Sarah Gregory Spanking. I had 3 models I hired, Isobel Wren, Stevie Rose, and ScarletJ. Johnny Lake, FLAPaddler on fetlife, was introduced as a spanking top for my website. He got to spank these three sexy girls in “Business at Hand,” Now on Sarah Gregory Spanking.

Then Johnny Spanked Isobel in my first video including a Sybian. This was  HOT video with some amazing orgasm action.

Sunday night I packed up as I had an early shoot Monday morning before heading to the airport. Goodbye Fetishcon! 🙁

Pre-FetishCon in Miami!

So I am coming down from such an amazing week that I had in Florida. I flew in on August 10th to go to the Fetish Factory Back to School Party with FLAPaddler (Johnny) and spend some time with him. The party wasn’t really my thing, but it was still cool to check out. There was just lots of smoke, loud music, drinking, and a lot of people who didn’t seem to be real life-stylers, just wanted to show of their cool clothes. I am glad I experienced it, but just not my thing.

Here are some photos pre-party

Here are some pix from the party

 

Johnny and I had fun hanging out, playing, and watching the sunset on his boat. Oh yea, did I mention I got spanked on the bow of his boat…..super amazing!

After a few days of fun with Johnny, I was FetishCon bound and ready to go.

First I had to stop off in Orlando for a shoot so he dropped me off there in his plane….yes I got to fly private!!

ScarletJ and I drove the rest of the way to Tampa.

Crimson Moon Summer Spectacular

Basically Crimson Moon this summer can be summed up by this video…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkC9bCKeq6Y

My Momma (Dana) surprised me. She never comes to any of the summer parties because she is in Canada on vacation with her family. She is Canadian so she loves going home for the summer and leaving her spanking like behind. Last summer I was able to go and visit her there, but this summer it didn’t work out for a number of reasons. It was going to be 4 whole months until I saw my Momma again and that was killing me. She and GivanTake had been planning this since way back at the beginning of the year all so her and I could be together.

So basically Crimson Moon can be summed up as an awesome turn of events from which was going to be 100% a working party to some amazing times with Momma and Givan.

The actual party events were fun too. I was super excited that there were TWO Little’s events. I am really getting in touch with my “Little” side lately and developing that part of myself. I pretty much only feel comfortable going 100% into Little mode when I have my mommy or daddy with me. So having Momma was great.

Here are Momma and I at the Littles Party

Here is LittleAngelWings, J_Doggg, and I at the Little’s party

I did great at the Vendor’s fair and I got to wear my new Steampunk Corset that I had been dying to wear since February when I bought it. Did I mention I am super into Steampunk now too!!!

Momma and I did a cute skit for the Miss OTK competition. We didn’t win, but we had a great time.

Saturday night was the Black and Blue party to celebrate Crimson Moon’s 20th anniversary. I had fun taking pix with some of my fave people and listening to great stories from Crimson Moon years before I was legal…lol.

I did quite a lot of topping sessions and I got to try out my beautiful new Leather monogrammed paddles made especially for me by http://www.ouch.uk.com/

I did an awesome bondage shoot for JBRoper with the super cute Christy Cutie who btw is one of my best friends.

I did have some emotionally difficult times throughout the weekend that I still can’t figure out. Momma helped me by giving me a hard no warm up spanking where I was able to just lay there and cry and get out my emotions. This helped a lot. She then held me while I cried and came donwn from my spanking. Sometimes this is just what I need to help me though difficult feelings and there are only certain people I trust to do this for me. For right now those people are Momma and Daddy.

On my last night I had a super amazing and relaxing time playing with my new friend and play partner FLAPaddler. He and I are going to Fetishcon together next weekend and I will be flying out tomorrow to stay with him in Miami for a few days. Yay for fun times with flogging and spanking and good friends.

Well that pretty much sums up Crimson Moon for you. I did do an awesome shoot outside in the nude again. I have posted some photos here  and here from the shoot

Off to Florida I go…..