I walk into her room. I am wearing pink fleece PJs with little hearts on them. I am a child, a little girl. Momma says, honey come over hear. “You know I love you, right? “Yes momma.” “You know you are loved.” “Yes Momma.” “I want to show you how much I care for you child.“ Momma pulls the covers back to reveal fresh white sheets. Momma sits comfortably in the middle of the bed. Her back against the headboard her legs stretched out. “Come here Sarah,” she says. “Yes momma,” I say with a small smile. I am happy, yet nervous at the same time. I am ready for pain, and love at the same time. I know I need this and she knows it too, words don’t need to be exchanged at this point. I climb onto the bed, crawl over to her right side. I kneel for a minute, my heart pounding, looking up at her with my big brown eyes innocently. She looks at me with that kind face, tilts her head to the side and simply motions with her head for me to lay across her lap. I lay over, place my head down upon the soft white sheets. My legs stretched out, my butt raised in anticipation. She pulls my PJ pants tight to show off the lovely curves of my bottom. I relax into her strong motherly lap. Light pats start, she knows how I love my mommy spankings with a warm up. She can read my body. Every breath I take in and out she feels. I feel every breath she takes, her warm lap, the soft sheets, my cozy Pjs. I feel safe, content, loved. The pats become a little heavier, it is more like spanking at this point, after she feels that I have been spanked over my soft protective Pajama pants enough, she slowly and carefully pulls them down only to see I am wearing full bottom white cotton panties, her favorite for her little girl. I raise my butt a little to help as she straitens them out, making sure to pull them a bit in different directions to make sure my bottom is covered for the next part of my spanking. I relax even more. Her hand feels a little heavier, but still not so painful. She rubs my pink bottom in between spanks. “It is getting warm” she says. I can feel the touch of her hand rubbing over my spanked bottom, it soothes me into more comfort and I feel more cared about than ever. I want to make momma proud and be a good little girl. I know that when I am not, the spanks are hard right from the beginning. Before I know it, she begins to slowly peel down my white cotton panties to reveal a light pink round bottom. It awaits what comes next. She rubs a little more, than spanks me. The part of my bottom that had been covered is more white than the rest. It all begins to get a nice pink color. The spanking get harder, and before I know it, I begin to tense up, my ankles cross, knees have a slight bend, head faces the bed as my back arches ever so slightly. The spanking gets more intense; my butt is turning a darker shade of pink. Momma knows that what she is doing is out of love. She knows how much I crave this. It satisfies her to give to me, as it satisfies me to be a good girl for her.  The spanking goes on and I start to think about some of the things that I have done that I am not proud of. I am getting what I need to help me forgive myself. My legs raise a little in the air as she begins to spank my sit spot, they raise even more and I start to kick as she spanks my sweet spot. It is really hard now, my body is tense, my abs tighten over her sturdy lap. I know she feels my tension, but she keeps going knowing this is a good thing for me. I go into my head; into a deeper sub space. My body feels heavy. I think how I have been feeling sorry for myself lately. I think about my depression and the unhealthy ways I had dealt with it before I discovered this amazing spanking community. I am a star, people love me, need me. I need to be here for them, I need to be here for Momma and the spanking reminds me of that. It is tangible. With each whack, the inner pain and heaviness I carry diminishes. I feel emotionally cleansed. I feel like I haven’t a care in the world. I have found what I have been searching for my whole adult life. I begin to tear up; I hide my face in the soft sheets as I cry quietly to myself. The spanking is intense, hard and my bottom is bright red now. I know I need this. I cry from the release of all the crap inside my head. It is like momma is taking my inner pain and turning it into external pain, so that it escapes. The time goes so fast, yet is really long. All of a sudden the spanking stops, My whole body feels like jello, I relax once more into her warm lap, my feet uncross, drop onto the bed, my head turns to my left as I look up at her loving face. Our eyes meet. We don’t have to say it, we can feel the love. I look away with momentary shyness then turn back. She is rubbing my bottom as I breath in and out. My tears are dry. I turn my head more and look up at  her. Her long white hair hangs down, her head tilts, the corners of her mouth turn up, and she strokes my back, my head. I rest my head down into the sheets again. She scratches my back, as she knows this feels really good for me. She leans over and takes the lotion from the nightstand. Puts some on her hands first, then rubs it into my bottom. It is soothing as it cools my well-spanked bottom down. It glides on so smoothly and soaks right into the skin. Them she pulls my white cotton panties up over my bottom, straightens them out. Then she pulls my pink heart fleece Pjs pants back up over my panties. I sit up. I am a little dizzy, and in a good place. I feel as if a warm bubble surrounds me, almost in a hypnotic state. Momma leans back and I lay on her right side, my arm around her middle and my head on her chest. She strokes my back and my head. We chat a bit. The words exchanged at the time mean a lot. She says she loves me and I am her good little girl. We talk a little about the day; process some of our thoughts. We lay there still and content. After it has been a little while, I get into my bed. I get under the covers. Momma tucks the blankets around me in and leans in to kiss my forehead. “I love you my little girl, have sweet dreams.” Good night, I love you.”